


Chance Encounter

by NeedyUke



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Physical Abuse, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 22:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9093997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeedyUke/pseuds/NeedyUke
Summary: A story of how a relationship can go very, very wrong, and how we often do not see it until it is too late.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a tragic and brutal story. This may be hard to read for those with fragile emotions. You are warned.

_How does a person even get to be in this position_ , I wondered as the wind blew my hair into my eyes. I unhinged my numb fingers from the ice cold railing and tucked my hair behind my ear. 

So much time spent inside my own head and still I understand nothing. I really must be the helpless idiot he always told me I was.

A bittersweet smile touched my lips when I remembered the first time I met Yuuto. I had been caught out in a sudden cloud burst. Soaking wet and shivering, frozen to the bone, I was waiting for the traffic light to change so I could cross the street and find shelter until the storm passed. 

“Sometimes we are all caught off our guard,” I heard from behind. I turned to see a tall, slender man with a sweet, gentle smile extending his umbrella to protect us both from the unrelenting assault of Mother Nature.

“I…umm…thank you,” I said lamely. “The storm came out of nowhere. I really should be more careful,” I said, teeth chattering, as a particularly violent shiver ran through me.

“How about a cup of tea? There is a café just a few blocks over. My treat,” he offered. That smile of his…I have never seen anything more gentle and genuine in my entire life.

The café was warm and filled with inviting smells, soft lighting, and the promise of a blossoming new friendship. “My name is Yuuto. It is a pleasure to have run into you, even under these less than idealistic circumstances,” he said. His smile was so charming. His demeanor was so calm and kind. Even his name meant gentle.

Little did I know that my life was now changed forever and my fate sealed. I cannot explain it even to this day. I was just drawn to him. Captivated by his presence.

~

A month had passed, and Yuuto and I met on a regular basis. We enjoyed tea together, watched movies together, went for walks together, we even read manga together like a couple of teenage boys. We were together every day. I really enjoyed his company, but more than that, I was enchanted by his kindness. He was a prince. He was my gentle Yuuto. I had to admit to myself that I was attracted to him. From time to time I even dared to let my mind wander to places that I should have kept off limits. But, I decided that I had to keep all these things secret, of course. It would not do to let him know my secret attraction to him. 

Late one night, after I had already gone to bed, a persistent pounding at my door woke me from peaceful slumber. Shuffling my feet, I trudged to the door to see who could be making such a racket in the middle of the night. As I peeked through the peephole, my eyes grew wide when I saw Yuuto looking somewhat savage. Alarmed that something was wrong, I unlatched the lock to open the door for my friend.

As soon as the door was open a crack, Yuuto slammed his weight into it, causing it to fly open with such force that the door handle broke a hole into the wall behind it. He was on me in a flash, pinning me against the wall. That wild look in his eyes…this was not the Yuuto I knew. I was frightened of my friend for the first time.

He must have read my feelings on my face. Immediately his expression softened and that same gentle smile crossed his lips, but his eyes remained those of a wild animal moving in for the kill. The contradiction was quite disorienting.

He leaned in and brushed his lips against my ear. Whispering, he said, “You look terrified, my friend. That is adorable.”

He grabbed a fist full of my hair and crushed my lips under his. As he pressed his body into mine I could feel his arousal. My mind was screaming all kinds of warnings at me, but my body was aching for his touch. His kiss hypnotized me. I was powerless to resist. 

I have often wondered how things might have turned out differently if I had not let him dominate me that night. It had perhaps been foolish to let him control me so completely. His unrelenting dominance just aroused me so much. The sex was…violent, abusive even. I am ashamed to admit that I liked it like that.

~

“I will have the soup, grilled salmon, steamed mixed vegetables and rice. And a carafe of wine. My friend will have a small salad and a glass of water,” Yuuto said to the server as we sat side by side in a crowded restaurant one evening about six months later. 

After the server walked away with our order, I whispered to Yuuto, “I am really hungry this evening. And I have not had any protein in a week. Please, can I have some more to eat?”

In an instant, he had my balls in a vice grip, squeezing so hard it brought tears to my eyes. I could not even breathe. With his ever present sweet-as-honey smile, he tilted his head and faced me. “Know your place, precious one. You eat only what I say and when I say. Do not challenge me again. I assure you, you will be sorry,” he said in a tone that was gentle yet menacing at the same time.

It is amazing to me to think that in only six months I was completely addicted to this cruel behavior. I tried so many times to figure out exactly when it was that Yuuto took complete control over every aspect of my existence. In all honesty, I am embarrassed to admit that it was probably that day we first met in the rain.

~

“Yuuto, please let me get cleaned up. I will do anything you want. Please. I feel disgusting,” I said to him one night about one year later, momentarily forgetting my proper place. I had been tied to the bed for 3 days. I was covered in my own sweat and urine, not to mention a fair amount of my own blood. I glanced down at the mess that was my ghastly body and shuddered. When had I gotten so skinny? My protruding ribs were my most dominant feature.

Anger flashed is his eyes, and I braced for the worst, but that contradictory gentle smile touched the corners of his lips. He untied my wrists and pulled me to sitting position by a fist full of my filthy hair. A wave of dizziness rolled through me as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. 

When was the last time he had let me eat? I could not even remember.

Unsteadily, I rose to my feet, legs shaking. A strange kind of haze obscured my vision, and then the world went black. 

I have no idea how long I had been unconscious, but when I awoke, I was laying on the sofa. I sat up slowly and realized he had washed my frail body. The enticing smells of a home cooked meal assaulted my senses and my stomach growled angrily. 

I struggled to my feet and staggered into the kitchen. Yuuto was sitting at the table with plates full of food scattered about in front of him. He was munching happily on a piece of bread as I collapsed into the chair next to him. Without a word, I stretched out one shaking hand and latched onto a small piece of breaded chicken. Yuuto backhanded me solidly on the side of my head before it was even half way to my mouth. As I landed on the kitchen floor, I saw the piece of chicken bounce away into the corner by the stove. 

“Is that how I taught you to eat? You have forgotten your manners, I see,” he said as if speaking to a misbehaving child. 

“Please, Yuuto. I am so hungry. And there is no way you could possibly eat all this food by yourself. Just one bite is all I am asking for,” I begged. I am not proud of the fact that I was begging. I am even more ashamed of the fact that begging had become common place for me. It was expected of me. And I did it happily.

“You know what you must do,” he said as he unzipped his pants. 

Obediently, I crawled on hands and knees to position myself between his legs and proceeded to do my duty. Yuuto was always violent with his sexual urges and needs, but this night he was even more so. I gagged and wretched around his erection until he finally released.

I vomited onto the floor in front of me and gasped, trying desperately to catch my breath. He then picked me up and gently placed me in the chair. He whispered and cooed sweet words in my ear while lovingly stroking my sweaty hair. “Such a good boy, you are…when you remember your place,” he said soothingly. This brought a shaky smile to my lips. 

“I love you, Yuuto,” I said as fresh tears rolled down my face. “I would do anything for you.”

“Here is your reward, my treasure. Enjoy your meal,” he said as he placed a tiny bowl of rice and two apple slices in front of me. It was more food than I had eaten in weeks. I wolfed it down in mere seconds. 

“I will expect you to remember your place in the future. Don’t forget… _you need me_. I know what is best for you. I take care of you,” he said as he kissed the top of my head.

~

“You don’t look so good. Are you feeling alright?” a co-worker said to me one morning about two months later. “Here, eat this. You are pale…and as skinny as a rail,” he said handing me a sandwich from his lunch bag. 

I grabbed the sandwich and ripped the plastic wrap from it, but hesitated as I brought it to my lips. If Yuuto found out I ate this, I would be punished severely. I did not want him to be mad at me. He did not tell me that I could eat today. I trusted him completely. After all, he always took care of me. And he always knew what was best for me. He loved me.

I handed the sandwich back to my co-worker and shook my head. “Thanks, but I think I will have to pass. I must have a stomach bug,” I lied. “I just cannot keep any food down at all.” 

“Stop this. Eat it. I will not take no for an answer,” he said pushing the sandwich back to me.

I ate it. God help me, I ate it all in about three bites. And then I cried. I sobbed. My co-worker was completely taken aback. He had no idea why I was crying.

Something inside me broke. My head was spinning in confusion. The kindness that this person just showed me knocked my composure completely off balance, and I fell apart. 

Later that night, I told Yuuto that I ate a sandwich. To this day, I do not know why I told him. I knew I was going to be punished. Maybe I was craving punishment as atonement for disobeying him. To be more honest with myself, though, I have to admit that I really liked the punishment. I needed the punishment. That was how he showed me that he loved me. 

Needless to say, the damage he did that night to my frail body and to my fragile psyche was extensive. Do not misunderstand. It is not that I did not enjoy it. I loved it. Somewhere along the way, I had learned to rely on the abusive treatment like a drug. But at the same time, on a deeper, subconscious level, I think I knew that this relationship was destructive on a whole other level. I knew that I should hate Yuuto for the way he controlled me. But in reality, I loved him more and more each day.

I was so fucked up. I am still so fucked up.

~

One morning about 2 years after I first met Yuuto that day in the rain, the world as I knew it fell apart. I collapsed at work and was taken by ambulance to the hospital. I woke up with searing pain in my lower abdomen. The doctor told me that I had just had emergency surgery to repair extensive damage to my rectum and intestines. I had apparently been bleeding inside for a long time. I was extremely anemic and malnourished. 

A pair of police officers appeared at my bedside and asked me questions for about an hour. They said the doctor had told them that the damage my body sustained was consistent with long term violent anal sex and that my other injuries and conditions were consistent with abuse and/or neglect. I never gave them a single clue that my lover had done these things to me. But apparently they figured it out. The next day they returned to tell me that they had arrested Yuuto.

I could not breathe. Surely they misunderstood. They had it all wrong. Yuuto loved me. _He loved me_. He hurt me because he loved me. Didn’t they see this? I flew into such a rage against the police officers that I had to be sedated. As I slipped into unconsciousness, all I could think was, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT HIM?

~

I was released from the hospital a week later. I walked into the apartment I had shared with Yuuto, closed the door softly behind me, and crumpled to the floor in tears. I had been told that he will not be getting out of prison for a very long time. I strange desperation washed over me. I could not survive without him. I needed him. I sat like that on the floor all night, leaning against the door, trying to calm my panicked mind.

By the time the sun rose, I had figured out that I only had one course of action. There was only one solution to this problem.

I pulled on my heavy coat and walked through the falling snow to the other side of town. My steps faltered a bit as I approached the bridge. 

What was I doing? Was I really going to go through with this?

Of course I was going to go through with this. I did not want this life without Yuuto. I could not live without him. 

I felt tears on my cheeks as I climbed over the railing. When had I started crying? I had no idea. My numb hands clung to the railing as I peered down into the canyon far below. The wind howled, and I shivered uncontrollably. I looked up into the cloudy sky above and said, “I love you, Yuuto.”

I wondered again how things might have been different if I had just had a little more self respect. I let one last teardrop fall from my face, and then followed it down into oblivion.


End file.
